Catching up...

I feel so horrible about not updating my journal as much as I once did. It seems like my time is stretched so thin that when I finally have a minute, I'd rather just sit and be a couch potato. Even as I sit and type this, my lawn needs to be trimmed, my floor needs to be vacuumed (despite having done that yesterday), and I have a bajillion note cards to write for my Micro final next Monday. But, instead, I've remained in my pajamas, watched TV all morning, and pigged out homemade bagel pizza for lunch. NOT a day wasted, if you ask me.

In about a week, both of my babies will be waking up early and getting ready for the first day of school. My heart is in a million different directions about it. My last baby, my itty bitty baby boy, is closing the door of this whole at-home-mom gig once he closes the car door and walks into the doors of that school. I feel this inner urge to grab him and whisk him away because I want to believe he's not ready... but he is. And, really, I am, too. This is just another corner we're all turning together. In a month, all 3 of us will be spinning circles with calendars full of things to do. I'll be up to my ears in Nursing School. Sophie will be busy learning the ways of second grade socialization, and Bryce will be learning what it means to make tough non-mom-involved decisions on his own for the first time in his life. It may be as simple as figuring out what to do when I'm not there to appropriately poke a straw-hole in his CapriSun, or it could mean figuring out what to do when the bully in Kindergarten calls him a name. Either way, I have to suck back that nuturing and protective knot in my throat when I think about it. Perhaps fate has delivered my being accepted into Nursing School at this time in my life because it knew that I'd fall to bits if I, for a mere second, felt like they'd get along fine without me for a few hours. I don't know. If I'm having a hard time with this, I can't imagine what will happen when they both take flight and forget to look back at the cushy nest Chris and I have given them. Let's hope I have something to keep me busy then, too.

Sophie has been her usual self. I think she's getting more and more silly as each day of summer passes and she's spent another 24 hours with a goofy 5-year-old boy. She's grown up (and out, a little) over these summer months, and she's proven to me that she has a strong will inside of her as long as I'm not overshadowing it with my motherly-ness (yes, it's a word).

Case in point, when house-sitting for our neighbor, we were given permission to go swim in their above-ground pool. It might be around 4 feet deep. Sophie can stand up and still have her head out of the water. Well, when we first got in, Sophie knew NOTHING about swimming. We've never done swim lessons, so she hasn't had a way to learn as we never go swimming.) Even though she was safely at a height above the water, she wanted arm floaties and a ring, despite doing my best to convince her they were unnecessary. When she took them off and I tried to get her to trust me in "floating" her in my arms while she learned to kick and paddle, she wrapped herself around me as though she would violently drown. She never trusted me enough to attempt learning to swim that day. What did it take? Going to Chris' cousin's house that weekend and watching two other girls her age jumping in, swimming, and going under water on their own. Peer pressure in its finest. She came home boasting about all the things she could do. (Total mom-failure moment.) Ah, leave it in the hands of her peers to show her the ways. (Gosh, I sure hope THAT issue never resurfaces!!) Since then, we've had several more opportunities to get into the water. With each time, she's gained more and more courage and is now swimming under water, jumping in, and is totally comfortable with the whole "pool thing." I'm quite proud of her, to be honest. I loved to swim when I was little, and it brings me joy to see her having so much fun.

Bryce, on the other hand, put the floaties on and jumped on the first time. He went under, snorted some water, wiped his face, and said, "Watch me, again!!!" He's not ready to take off his floaties, but he'll go underwater and pop back up and love every minute of it, so I know he'll be comfortable enough to learn once he gets a little more height and can stand up in the water first. I think that was the security that allowed Sophie to let her guard down.

Oh, but Bryce, that boy... He's a MESS! Call it the "5-year-old-boy-syndrome." ANYTHING he can do to make his sister laugh is worthy of risking getting into trouble for. Want him to fall into bits with laughter? Say "poop" or "pee" or "weiner" or "fart." Trust me, it works. He pushes his luck on a daily basis with this type of tomfoolery. However, on the other hand (the one without the wind-up handshake buzzer gizmo), is a one of the most loving and sweet children. He loves his Momma, oh YES he does! Constant reminders, too... Hugs, kisses, "I love yous" - he's never without a shortage and hands them out in buckets all day long. Of course, he pretty freely hands them out to Ziggy, our cat, too. He is massively obsessed with his Super Mario Bros. games, toys, clothes, stickers, coloring pages, bedding, you name it. In fact, we've spent quite a bit of time simply surfing ebay just looking at the neat stuff Hong Kong has come up with and stamped a "Super Mario Bros." tag on. It's always a neverending joy ride of "Ooooh, I want THAT!" and "Momma!? Can Santa get THAT, too?" While I really don't think Santa wants to hand over $25 for a star-shaped tin of mushroom hard-candies, I do throw the occasional "maybe" out to tide him over. We've actually ordered a few really cool toys from ebay that we can't find here in the States. He totes his SMB toys around with him EVERYWHERE HE GOES.

Speaking of moulah, I care NOT to get into it too deeply simply because I'm tired of it sucking the joy out of my days, but I'm having to tapdance at work right now. I was hoping and praying that my employment would roll along rather smoothly during my time in Nursing School, but apparently, the economy and the changing nature of my company has a different idea. I found out a couple of weeks ago that we'll be facing about a $200 pay cut a month. Now, we've had this happen in the past, and we made it through without going into debt or anything like that... but more than anything, it's the kick in the stomach of a really good, solid employee who puts 110% into her work ethic. I'll toot my own horn. I'm a good employee. The reasons they cut my pay is because of an across-the-board cut they did company wide to "keep up with competitive industry standards." Well, because of my tier level, they cut me back like $2 an hour. I tested up to the next tier, and when they came back to announce my pay upgrade, it was still cutting our income by more than $150 a month. I emailed my manager and laid down a pretty solid case about how I'd been doing work outside of my tier level for more than 4 years, and that I still had the emails from 2007 when my manager added them to my pool of work. She was going to talk to Legal and HR and see what happens from there. My fingers are crossed, and I've got my prayers up and my hopes high. I reeeeeally hope they come back and tell me that I won't be hit with the cut. But if it DOES happen, I'll suck it up for now, and we'll have to cut back even more. I can't possibly work more hours given full-time school starts in a few weeks, nor can I work enough extra to make up the loss. I'm stuck in a position where I know I couldn't leave my company and find another job that pays as well per hour, works with my current odd schedule, and keeps me from having to spend the extra money on the commute. The next 2 years may be tough, but once I can get this RN behind my name and get onto a hospital floor, things will get much easier. I'd like to continue my education and possibly work my way up to a Master's. (But I'm not counting my chickens before they hatch, so for now, my goal is to get through the next 2 years.)

Aside from that, everything is going well with school. I've been really busy over the summer with my Microbiology lecture and lab, which meet 3 nights a week. Chris has really held it together for me on the nights I'm not at home. I miss having dinner with my family, but in a week, I take my last Micro exam, and it will be said and done. While I cannot claim an A just yet (and surely don't want to jinx myself), I WILL say that I've made all As this semester aside from one B and made a 95 on my practical lab final. I can FEEL that A within my grip, but I don't want to claim it until I'm officially done and my lecture final is out of the way.

I guess that's it's for now... I'm sure if I have a little time to do this again, I will. In the meantime, I have a million crayon bits and shreds of paper to vacuum where my lovelies decided to dump their entire container of crayons onto the floor "to find the colors easier."